Becoming a Mama

The wonderful world of mamahood. Where do I begin?

I guess to start, I would like to put it out there that I hated being pregnant.. well, mostly. I felt as if this thing growing inside of me was just too impossibly large for my body and it was taking over! Everything ached, I was nauseous, I couldn’t sleep and life was basically just uncomfortable. Also, everyone forgot to mention that awful thing that is sometimes referred to as, ‘ lightning vagina’? But seriously, what the actual f***.

I did say I hated it, ‘mostly’… I loved feeling her move, she felt like a goldfish swimming around in a bowl (don’t ask me why I chose that simile, it makes sense in my mind). I loved it when she got the hiccups. I loved seeing her every time we had a scan.

I’ve been maternal for as long as I can remember. I used to stand in front of the mirror as a young teen and push my belly out pretending there was a baby in there.

As I grew older, those maternal instincts faded and I no longer felt any attachment to children. I was more of an animal lover than a baby lover.

So before I went through the emotional roller coaster that is called IVF, it took some convincing that I was ready for this next chapter of my life.

When Ruby was born, I didn’t have that instant attachment that most people speak of. I was in shock. She was put in my arms and my face was blank.

Slowly, hour by hour, day by day, I began to bond with this little human that I’d just grown for the previous nine months.

Today, I can’t imagine a life without her in it. She is everything. Her smile is everything. It’s conflicting, though, how much you want to see them grow and reach new milestones, yet still stay in baby form for as long as possible!

I completely understand why other mamas tell you to make the most of your pre-mum life as much as you can because you change, for the rest of your life, you can’t go back.. not that I would want to, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

My new life consists of sleepless nights, vomit and/or drool on my top 24/7, poonami’s and a whole lot less time for myself. The adjustment has taken some getting used to as in my previous life, my favourite things to do were go out for glamourous meals, travel wherever whenever, sunbathe (harder than you think with a babe) and basically take far too long to get anything done EVER.

As I’m writing this, I have a massive smile on my face because I still absolutely wouldn’t have it any other way.

Mom life is THE B E S T.

The end.